Cursed
by Natascope
Summary: Remus Lupin always knew he was cursed. How could he have ever really expected to have a happy, normal life?


I do not own Harry Potter.

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A/N: This is for Season V of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition, round #11

Team & Position: Caerphilly Catapults, Beater 1.

Base Prompt: Write about a budding friendship on a spring day(s) OR losing a friend on an autumn night(s).

Optional Prompts:

5\. (word) asleep

6\. (sound) sobbing

9\. (word) muffle

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While the muggles were at home, asleep in their beds, the Wizarding World was still celebrating He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's defeat from Halloween. It had been twenty-four hours, and the parties and celebrations were still going strong, including one in the Hogshead pub in Hogsmeade. There was currently a question of what would stop the party first, running out of alcohol or the revelers' responsibilities catching up to them.

In amongst the loud sounds of the party, no one could be faulted for missing a single table in the corner of the pub that wasn't celebrating like the rest. Numerous empty mugs were sitting on the table, indicating that the one sitting there had been drinking heavily. However, if one were to move close enough to the table, the sounds of the party would muffle, and the sobs of a man would be audible. Remus Lupin had staked his claim on the lonely corner, tears streaming down his face to fall in his beverage as he cursed his life.

James and Lily were dead, Peter was dead, and Sirius had betrayed them all. If only Remus had been more attentive, maybe he would have seen the betrayal coming. If only he hadn't been sent away to negotiate with the werewolves. If only he had never been inflicted with his curse by Fenrir Greyback.

Remus had been bitten by Greyback just before he turned five, inflicting him with the curse and turning Remus into a monster. His parents had tried to help him, tried to understand what he was going through. However, the strain on their relationship began to show. He was no longer brought into public areas with his family if it could be avoided. The bonds of family were strained to nearly breaking.

Looking back now, Remus knew that things were not as bad as they felt at the time. The wolf in him was rebelling and managing to influence his thoughts about those that were different, those that were not cursed. Oh, how he wished he could go back and spend that time again with his parents. Back when things were simple.

Then Dumbledore had arrived to discuss Remus attending Hogwarts. Remus had believed that there was no way that he would be allowed to attend, but the headmaster had a plan. As long as Remus was careful and followed all of the rules, he would be able to avoid putting any other students at risk of infection.

It didn't take long before that house of cards looked like it would collapse. The three boys, his three friends, he shared a dormitory with had quickly grown suspicious enough to confront him about where he went every full moon. Remus had panicked and almost lashed out at them before they said that they didn't care about his affliction. A part of him had wanted to believe that was true—so he had. James, Sirius, and Peter had gone so far as to become unregistered Animagi, supposedly to help their friend. The four of them, the Marauders, had become a family.

Though, looking back, it appeared that the only one that really felt that way was Remus. The other three had used the Animagus transformation as a feather in their cap; something they could do that Remus could not. While Remus was studious, the other three were more jokers. They seemed to understand magic while Remus had to work at it.

Still, they were family! Why would Sirius do what he did? Family doesn't turn on family. They stand together, through anything. His parents hadn't abandoned him when he was infected; they had tried to find help. Even when there was no helping what he had become, they were there. Remus had thought Moony, Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail would be together until the end. In a macabre way, to a degree they were.

Remus took a deep drink from the mug in front of him. Why was he the only one that felt like they were a family?

When the group had graduated from Hogwarts, the war with You-Know-Who had been escalating. The four Marauders—and Lily—had joined in with Dumbledore in the Order of the Phoenix. Remus had been a bit reluctant to join. He had known that he would end up as a liaison with the werewolf community; a community that didn't see him as much of a member as he had had opportunities that most werewolves did not. The others had convinced him, though. The work was important. It had to be done. If only it hadn't needed to be Remus that did it, but he swallowed the bitter pill that was his cursed fate and did what was needed, what was right.

As the months passed, he got to spend less and less time with his friends, his family. Instead, he was spending more time with the werewolf community, attempting to get them to see him as a member. As a member, he could convince them to not join with You-Know-Who's forces. If things went well, maybe he could convince some to join up with Dumbledore. This work took a lot of time and effort as You-Know-Who's minions, including Greyback, were promising changes for the werewolves, changes that would see them treated with honor and dignity rather than the scorn and loathing they received now.

It was during this time that it began looking like there was a spy inside the Order. Operations against the Death Eaters and their master had begun to suffer setbacks. Their enemies were acting as if they knew what the Order was doing. Raids changed locations or dates, and enemy forces intercepted Order members that were lying in ambush. They had started looking for any reason that one of their members would be working for the enemy.

Through it all, Remus continued liaising with the werewolves. His efforts were netting results, but in the months leading up to October 1981, Remus had seen practically nothing of his friends. They had pushed him aside.

His friends, like the rest of the Order, began to be suspicious of his motives. Surely he must be the spy; he had the most to gain. An opportunity for a new regime that would provide equal rights to werewolves? Sign him right up. His sobs were interrupted by a brief hiccup as he attempted to laugh to himself. Sure, You-Know-Who would keep his promise to the werewolves... when the Cannons won a Quidditch League Cup.

Just days ago Remus had considered walking away from it all. Before he could act on these cowardly thoughts, he had received the horrible news: James and Lily Potter had been killed. Harry had somehow survived the Killing Curse, but he would now be an orphan. The troubling thing, though, was that the family had been under the Fidelius, and the one to hold the secret had been Sirius.

Remus supposed that he should have seen Sirius' betrayal coming. After all, he had been the one that attempted to expose Remus' condition to everyone through his actions with Severus Snape. It was only through James' intervention, and the benevolence of Dumbledore, that Remus was allowed to continue his education after the fiasco engineered by Sirius.

With Sirius effectively killing James and Lily, Remus had attempted to get ahold of Peter so the two could work together to bring him in. Unfortunately, before he could, he had received word that Sirius had also killed Peter. The crazed Black had stood on the street, laughing maniacally. It was his overconfidence that had let the Aurors take him into custody.

So now, Remus was the last loyal Marauder left. His curse had spread to his friendships, destroying everything that he loved and held dear. There was nothing for him in Britain anymore. It wasn't like he could take in little Harry, with his condition he would undoubtedly bite the boy on accident. Even if he somehow managed to avoid that grim fate for Harry, Remus' curse would still manage to infect the boy and destroy him somehow. No, it was best to leave Harry wherever he ended up: far away from Remus Lupin.

The tears dried up, and the sobs died as Remus' conviction hardened. He would leave Britain to avoid spreading his curse to anyone else. Lifting up the last of his drink, he drank it down quickly, grimacing slightly at the taste of warm, watered down ale. A quick wave of his wand removed the muffling charm, causing a blast of noise from the party to assault his ears. Leaving the pub, he took a few steps before Disapparating from Hogsmeade to prepare for his self-imposed exile.


End file.
